So, You think you can dance?

Somehow, by the graces of the American public, mark is still in this thing.  My three year old dances better than he does.  I mean come on – Will?  Will is a formally trained dancer who trains at one of the best schools in the country.  He has already been performing professionally.  But no – you mean to tell me that Will got booted before Mark?  This is absurd.  Why don’t we just let mohawk boy win it all with his jumping around.  I mean, his last solo looked like he was having a seizure.  Immediately afyter his solo, I tried his routine, and did it better than him.

Maybe I should audition for the show.

Then there is Gladiators.  Seriously?  people are watching this?  Lame.  The last thing they do is okay…. the obstacle course.  But these people are 150 pound wimps going against steroid munching hulks of hungry meat.  It’s embarrassing.  Anything the contestants win is by pure luck.  Or the gladiators let them win some.  Who knows, and really, who cares.  I would rather watch a 60 year old man in a wheelchair go up against the Bucs offensive line. It would definitely be more entertaining.  Or maybe watching Britney Spears in a cage match with Lindsay Lohan.  That would be entertaining.

You know what else entertains me?  People who don’t know how to wear hats.  To those of you reading this, let me tell you something – the brim of the hat is designed to keep the sun out of your eyes.  Unless you have a serious ear infection caused by the sun, spin that mo fo around to the front.  Come on.  I am starting to think that the angle of the hat is in direct proportion to the mental disability of the individual wearing it.

Then again, the same people also don’t seem to notice the greatness of the invention of the belt…

Anyhoo, I go Flickr to finally work. I am going to have to go look for an ew photo type system thing.

So, you think you can dance? Well, so do the dancers on “So You Think You Can Dance.” Not a bad show, all in all, but come on – Gev needs to be brought back. But I am still pulling for victory for some of the contestants. I guess I will have to narrow that down in the weeks t come. I do like Twitch though. because he…twitches. Twitch. Cool Name.

Well, Christian Slater, as many of you know, is my current moral compass, and he has a new TV show coming out. In it, he stars as a guy who lives a double life, except he doesn’t even know he’s living it. So he’s a clumsy dad by day, and a double kick-ass agent by night. Well, if this isn’t representing the moral compass factor, I don’t know what is. I mean, what guy doesn’t want this life? To be a hero at night and shoot bad guys, break things, fight, etc? It sounds like every man’s dream, and also olny a role Christian can play. He is the voice of my generation.

So, Christmas is coming. Not really but I saw something I want so I figured I would post it here. You never know what could happen – maybe someone would even get it for me. (hint hint). I won’t go into gruesome details, or sob stories about needing this item. T be frankl, I just want it, and it is bad-ass. So here is the link:
click here!

I would prefer Chrome Red or Wine as the color option, but hey- i’ll take it regardless.

Anyway, I’m outta here for now, but I promise to write more frequently. Especially on the following topics:

- building a bat cave;
- building a lazy river around my house;
- Installing remote control lighting;
- my upcoming blues vacation;
- more random stuff.

As always, Rock on.

Alright, it’s not that bad.

It is magical.  We revisited the park this past weekend, and we had a blast.  I officially apologize – Disney is magical, and a lot of fun.

Sure, at times, you feel like a member of a herd of cattle, and I still can’t figure out where all the money goes…

but it is a great and magical place!

So they kicked Johns off of Idol. I am seriously convinced at this point that the votes don’t even count, and the producers have the say in final elimination.

Of course, Johns was also exactly like Jim Morrison without the talent.

None the less, he was far more talented than at least three of the other idols. I mean, seriously, Carly has to go. And Saisha? Please. She couldn’t win the karaoke contest at my local bar. So why do they get rid of the good ones? I guess it was the “votes”. He just didnt get enough.

The bright side is he gets to chill with Chikezie….

Yes, it’s another American Idol blog deal. What can I say?

Saisha. Or however you spell it, needs to go. I was impressed most with Jason Castro’s performance, and I thought most of the idols did very well. Sayisha, or whatever, needs to go. She’s not memorable at all compared to the others – and lets face it – her hair is just too big.

Sure, the girl can sing. But so can a parakeet. I mean, we are looking for greatness. For stardom. For someone who will perform better than idol winners Travis Hicks and Rubin Studdard. Someone who can take it to the next level.

It’s not Saishya. Nope. Time for her to go! I also seem to admire Kristy Lee Cook’s game plan of “one more week.” That’s all she is in it for – just make it another week. I think this time she will.

So there you have it! I hope she gets the boot – not because I don’t like her, but because she is the worst out of all the contestants. Of course, we have to wait an extra day to find out. Tonight, Idol gives back – millions and millions of dollars get donated for a worthwhile cause. Idol makes twice that in advertising revenue, but hey- that’s another story….

That’s right – I said it. Christian Slater is my moral compass. What he considers right, I consider right.

If you need more convincing, just go rent Gleaming the Cube – a fantastic movie about how skateboarders can do a lot more than just trash everything they skate on. The can actually trash everything while saving the day and capturing the bad guys. What a movie.

So where is Christian Slater now? No one knows. At last report, he was doing B movies. Good for him. I wish I was doing B movies. All the fun of making a major motion picture without having to deal with millions of dollars and egotistical directors. Perfect.

I guess if Christian is to be my moral compass, I will have to get get my ears pierced and start dying my hair. But hey, its a small price to pay when following such a guiding light.

Rock on, my man!

Well, the run is over.

He just couldn’t get it right.

No matter what he tried, he couldn’t win over the judges, or america. What are you suppsed to do?

And how do you, as a strong independent black man, compete with a country girl (with little talent) singing “Proud to be an American”? That song should not be allowed to be sung. By my tally, that song is worth an estimated 3.5 million votes. Hell, I could have sung it, and I would have survived another week. Who wouldn’t? It tugs at our patriotic pride, and forces us to vote for the one who sung the song. Not voting for that person makes you anti-american. Are you anti-american?

So what is Chikeezie to do? There was nothing he could do. He had to watch in dismay as he was booted from the show. I could even hear a faint chorus of chants rising up from the audience, as some chanted to Kristy Lee Cook “one more week! One more week!”. As some of us know, this is her game plan – last another week. That’s all she has to do. It makes me sick. Chikeezie wore sweater vests on the show. No black man wears those by choice – he did it for the show. He did it for america.

Our response? We booted him off. But hey, we had to. We didn’t want to be anti-american did we?

Well, I don’t know about you, but I am becoming a big Chikezie fan.

At first, I was at a loss as to why this was. Then I realized… it was the week he put his own name in the song. As soon as he belted out “They call me chikezie baby..” I was hooked. And I believe, so are a lot of other americans. Or Hispanics. Maybe even David Hasselhoff.

So Chikezie did his thing. Tonight, he broke out the harmonica.

It sucked.

But it doesn’t matter.

He is Chikezie, and until he falls into the downward spiral of all the other forgotten cast offs of American Idol, I will hold him close to my heart. I will phone into his number to give him additional votes. I will tell friends and family I would buy his CD. (which I wouldn’t). I will try to convince, con, and push other people to vote for him too. His teeth may be too small, and his gums too big, but the kid can sing. He may have a lame watch/sweat band combo, but he hits the notes. He may rock a 1985 straight fade hairdo, but his songs rule. He is the man – and I will support him for the rest of the season while secretly rooting for others to win. He is, well, my idol. Why?

He’s Chikezie baby.